53 Contributors including Mumia Abu-Jamal, Dr. Patch Adams, Edward Asner, Runin "Hurricane" Carter, Laura Davis, Thomas Eagleton, Albert Ellis, Paul Ferrini, Lynne Finney, Linda Hogan, Derrick Jensen, Bill T. Jones, Mary Elizabeth king, Dr. Sammy Lee, Robert Muller, Daniel Quinn, Pete Seger, Dr. Bernie Siegel, Gerry Spence, Mike Thaler, Richard Vatz, Kurt Waldheim, Kenneth Wapnick, 2 death-row prisoners, and many more.
Lois Einhorn deals with one of the most despicable aspects of crime that plagues modern society. - Arun Gandhi
Full of wisdom, insight and truth from a powerful assembly of scholars, writers and visionaries. Profound reading. - Dr. Bernie Siegel
An indispensable healing companion for anyone who has suffered any kind of abuse. - Tamarack Song
The terror set in on Fridays. Would this be a weekend of lengthy ritualistic abuse? Employing techniques similar to those used in Nazi concentration camps, author Lois Einhorn’s father and mother physically and sexually abused her and her sister. They forced the girls to torture each other and to torture and destroy live and stuffed animals. Dying would have been a relief. For years, Lois suffered agonizing anguish and guilt because she acquiesced, complied, and succumbed to her parents’ power. Could she ever forgive?
During her healing process, Dr. Einhorn shared her story with influential people from a variety of fields, including clergy, politicians, authors, entertainers, doctors, professors, psychologists, and even death-row prisioners. She asked them: “What would YOU do? You are a child in a family that sadistically abuses. You are forced to torture and destroy. What should you do now as an adult? Do you forgive your parents? HOW do you forgive yourself?”
Readers cannot agree with all 53 responses: they are inherently contradictory. This is a unique and powerful book destined to encourage discussion, dialogue, and debate. The responses to Lois’ questions exemplify a wide variety of viewpoints, some prone to stir controversy and many to stimulate changes in personal, community, national, and international consciousness. For example, Arun Gandhi’s response essentially says that the problems in the Middle East result from the Jewish people’s inability to forgive Hitler.
Terrorism won’t end, Lois argues, until we end violence in all its forms – racism, hate crimes, domestic violence, child abuse, abuse of the Earth, wars – the list goes on. We need more than ever to deal with forgiveness and rise above the desire for revenge.
About one out of three girls and one out of seven boys are sexually abused by the age of eighteen, and revelations of abuse in the Catholic Church are widespread. Child prostitution and child pornography are multibillion-dollar-a-year businesses. In addition to the many personal crimes against children, we are living through a war that many citizens oppose, and we deal daily with fears of terrorist attacks. Forgiveness and Child Abuse: Would YOU Forgive? challenges readers to move from a paradigm of revenge and fear to one of love and forgiveness – regardless of the severity of the atrocities.
I just had the opportunity to read the book, Forgiveness and Child Abuse: Would YOU Forgive? by Lois Einhorn, Ph.D. The author is the survivor of extreme sexual, physical, emotional, and ritualized abuse who asks a provocative question of people from various walks of life: if they had been so abused, would they forgive? Would they forgive their perpetrators? Would they forgive themselves for the acts in which they were forced to participate?
The respondents, some famous, some survivors themselves, and representing a variety of perspectives provide some thought-provoking answers to Dr. Einhorn's query. Essentially, the question is does it take forgiveness of the perpetrators and/or oneself to achieve recovery. The responses are as unique as the respondents and shed light on an almost universal aspect of survivorship. I can certainly recommend this book to the libraries of survivors, advocates, and therapists.
This is a book about forgiveness and abuse. It is a story for and about the victims of child abuse. It is a story that asks the question: "You are a child in a family that sadistically abuses. You are forced to torture and destroy. What should you do now as an adult? Do you forgive your parents? HOW do you forgive yourself? This question calls for a thoughtful introspection by the reader to formulate an answer or response.
Fifty-three well know personalities responded to this question. The group includes therapists, spiritual advisors, activists, children's advocates, song writers, and other leaders in the field of forgiveness and abuse. The responses of these experts make up the body of the book. Their responses provided healing for the victims of these unspeakable acts and horrendous atrocities: physical, sexual, and verbal. The answers are profound and reveal beautiful insights in personal forgiveness and the resulting freedom this can produce in the victim.
Many of the respondents share their own personal stories of abuse. Award winning writer, Derrick Jensen, observed "We become a family of amnesiacs. There's no place in the mind to sufficiently contain theses experiences." These are stories of heroic battles, of overcoming; fear, anger, bitterness, and survival.
I found the book poignant, haunting, gripping and powerful, a book that calls for action. Dr. Einhorn wrote this book as a tribute to the power of love, and as a testimony that even severe pain can be transformed into a gift of love.
Dr. Einhorn was honored by the World Forgiveness Alliance as Heroine of Forgiveness, Reconciliation, and Peace. She is well qualified to author this work. This book is a must read for child advocates, therapists, spiritual counselors, and for the victims of abuse. It is also a book for school administrators, teachers, preschool specialists, church and community leaders, and for policy formulators in government office.
Powerful, profound reading.
An intimate and searchingly memorable collection of many touching and informative stories , April 2, 2006
Impressively compiled and deftly edited by Lois Einhorn (Professor Of Communication), Forgiveness And Child Abuse: Would You Forgive? is an intimate and searchingly memorable collection of many touching and informative stories from the lives of many abused peoples wishing to let known their perspective of the abuse they once encountered and their accounts of forgiveness. Covering more then just the subject of child abuse, Forgiveness And Child Abuse enlightens the reader of why one might forgive another for their inflicted pains, as well as what might more suitably be sought as an understandable pursuit for each individual. Forgiveness And Child Abuse is very strongly recommended to all readers with a desire to understand the many various perspectives toward how we should relate to perpetrators of injury, abuse, crime, and even death.
Being both a victim of child abuse and a counselor, I anxiously awaited the appearance of this book. Not because I thought it would give me answers, but because I wanted a single reference that posed all of the hard questions needing to be addressed in order for an abuse victim to find peace. Few clients have the time or patience to read a stack of books, and there are some who struggle to remain focused on the topic. 53 diverse voices of wizened guidance, covering the entire spectrum of experience and perspective -- this book needs to be standard equipment in every home, school, and institution where child abuse is addressed.
This true story is not for the weak of heart. You can't just read this book as if it were about someone else. It happens to you, and you are going to be affected.
And, yet, the book, as heart-rending as it is, also uplifts and heals our hearts. How does it do this -- tell about terrors and still reclaim the beauty of the human spirit?
First, the author's bare-boned honest telling of her story goes deeper than the events. Her story is greater than what happened to her.
Second, Lois Einhorn is a living example of a beautiful being who transcends the past and makes her life something beautiful and meaningful. What a testament of spirit she is.
Third, in addition to the author's brilliant writing, this book also shares responses from those, the famous and the unknown, who were first privileged to read her story. Each unique response adds a jewel to our understanding of the whole range of forgiving the unforgivable.
Oh, yes, this unforgettable book is going to be read and talked about.
Incidentally, the author wants to hear from readers and to learn how you respond to her story and how you manage forgiveness in your life.
The book provides a very impressive discussion of a most profound subject - if and when to forgive. Whether or not you suffered child abuse, as did the author, everyone has been on the receiving end of bad behavior. Whether it's people insulting you, taking advantage of you or physically harming you, the issue of whether to forgive someone will come up sometime in your life. And when it does, your decision will affect your mind, body and future. In other words, whether or not you forgive people is a big deal - not just for them but for YOU!
Fortunately, Dr. Einhorn has gathered ideas on the subject from some of the leading thinkers of our time. Their opinions range across the board. But in reading what they have to say, you will learn about the underlying issues and philosophies that can guide your decision. This is an important book: because of it's topic, because of it's contributors and because of what it can do for you.
How "forgiveness" stopped being the "f" word., March 8, 2006
EVERYONE has forgiveness issues. Many have abuse issues, and EVERYONE should be concerned. Therefore, EVERYONE should read Lois Einhorn's fascinating book in which she asks: "What would YOU do? You are a child in a family that sadistically abuses. You are forced to torture and destroy. What should you do NOW as an adult? Do you forgive your parents? HOW do you forgive yourself?" She elicits a rainbow of opinions and points of view by fifty-three, very varied people, many very eminent. Contributors include: Arun Gandhi (Mahatma Gandhi's grandson, who wrote the forward), Edward Asner, Bernie Siegel, Patch Adams, Laura Davis, Pete Seeger, Mumia Abu-Jamal, Rubin "Hurricane" Carter, Linda Hogan, Daniel Quinn, Gerry Spence, and two men on death row. I was astounded that there were so many different takes on "forgiveness". This book is both deeply moving and extraordinarily thought provoking. It explores such questions as: At what age, and under what circumstances, is a child responsible for his/her behavior? Are we responsible for what we do when being tortured? Einhorn's upbeat afterword is a perfect finishing touch!
Hard cover $22.95, plus $3.50 shipping and handling.
About the Author:
Dr. Lois Einhorn is in her 27th year as Professor of Communication at the State University of New York's University Center at Binghamton. Highly accomplished, she is widely published as the author of four previous books and many articles; has had a long list of honors, awards and grants bestowed upon her including five major teaching awards (often the youngest then and since to receive these honors), and has been active in university, professional, and community service.
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